The "No Stress News" Article Archive

Forgiveness as a Form of Anger Management
Part 1 - Why Forgive?

One of the most popular reasons for stress is anger. Many people hold on to their anger for years, nourish it and let it prosper. Anger becomes one of their best friends, a constant companion.

What do you get angry at?

Some people are angry at the way one (or both) of their parents treated them as children, some are angry at friends who've hurt or offended them, some are angry at their spouse, their workplace, and some are even angry at the government or one of its institutions.

Mostly, when we're angry, we have a good reason for it. But...

...even when our anger is justified, even when we were wronged, being angry harms us and sabotages us. I know that when I'm angry, I feel that if I can be angry for a long enough time, it will somehow hurt the other person, like they hurt me, and I will be revenged. But it is always the person who's angry who is hurt the most by it - not the person who did the hurting.

Anger can do us more harm than the original offense that triggered it - this statement is backed by countless studies, which show the devastating effects of anger on the person who's angry.

"But if I was wronged, why shouldn't I be angry? Isn't it right for me to be mad?"

It may be right - we can have a debate about that at another time if you want - but it certainly isn't wise. There is a saying in some languages: "on the road, don't be right - be smart".

By holding on to your anger, you're hurting yourself over a long period of time. To heal the wound, both emotionally and physically (if you're already at a point where anger has physically hurt you), you need to let go of your anger and try to forgive.

"Forgive? After everything they did to me? What are you talking about? Why should I forgive them?"

Forgiveness is mostly for ourselves. There are extreme situations where we should not forgive, and there are situations where anger pushes us into the right sort of action; but normally, in everyday life, we hold unnecessary grudges. We can and should let go of these grudges.

When we let go of anger, we stop wasting so much energy on it. That energy we save can be transformed from the original negative, blocking energy to positive energy, which allows us to move forward and achieve our goals: at work, in relationships, in generating prosperity, etc.

So, how do you actually forgive someone, now that you know it's so important?

• 1. Release the anger and tension you're bottling up. A good way to do this, that you currently have access to, would be to use the Amazing Formula. If you don't already have it, get it here:

  www.nostressebook.com/resources/nostress.php
  (it's at the bottom of that page)

• 2. Our good friend Steve G. Jones, a hypnosis expert, has been generous enough to offer you a course, which he usually sells for $49.95, for FREE: now you too can create your own hypnosis tape, and get through to your subconscious.

  This will make it much easier for you to let go of your anger. Just listen to his course (it's about two hours long), and then make a tape where you tell yourself to let go of anger.

  Get your FR.EE hypnosis audio course here.

• 3. Realize that however screwed up the person who offended you is, they probably didn't mean any harm - they did the best they could. Of course, there are cases where this doesn't apply, but in most cases, it's true. This will be the subject of the next issue.

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Dvora Ifat and Shunit Ben-Tzvi are co-authors of "No Stress! How to Save Tons of Money on Shrinks and Doctors - Just by Reducing Stress!", a web authority on stress management and relief.
http://www.nostressebook.com
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